Ninjas & Diaries
by Reaching for Stars
Summary: Yuffie gets a diary for christmas and begins writing. As she continues, people seem to keep looking over her shoulder. Might turn into a CloudxYuffie.Chapter two up.
1. Cloud

_Hmm.  
This is stupid.  
Ninjas don't write in diaries. Ninjas are awesomeness, throw shruiken, kick ass, and steal Cloud's materia, but they do NOT write in diaries given to them by big-bosomed bartenders for Christmas.  
Heck, ninjas don't even celebrate Christmas, they just steal the gifts.  
Hey, maybe Santa was a ninja. That's how he climbs down chimneys! And it'd kinda explain why he steals cookies, too-_

"He doesn't steal them."  
_Hang on, someone's saying something- SPIKEY???_

"…?"  
"You MADE A COMPLETE SENTENCE that had NOTHING TO DO WITH BATTLE PLANS. Wow, I'm proud of you- HEY!"  
"What?"  
"YOU WERE READING OVER MY SHOULDER, YOU BASTARD, THAT'S MY PRIVATE DIARY!"  
"No it isn't."  
"Huh?"  
"Ninjas don't write in diaries."  
"And?"  
"You're writing in something."  
"…?"  
"Since you're a ninja, it can't be a diary."  
"Wow, you have got a brain under all that hair gel."

Later

_Wow. Spikey had, like, LOGIC. And he didn't even have to ask Vinnie for help.  
UNLESS HE DID. MAYBE HE'S TELEPATHIC! I knew that psycho Vinnie was a vamp.  
_  
"You'd use up less space if you didn't write in uppercase."  
"ARGH! AGAIN? YOU ARE TELEPATHIC; YOU KNOW WHEN I'M WRITING, DON'T YOU?!?"  
_Oh, my GAWD. Did he just smirk? It was there, I swear. It was friggin' tiny, but it was there.  
…This isn't right. He's supposed to have the IQ of Tifa's wilting HOUSEPLANT._

"140."  
"You're still here!?!"  
"No."  
_HE DID IT AGAIN. THE BASTARD IS SPYING ON ME. I'M SWITCHING ROOMS._


	2. Denzel & Marlene

I just realized I'd forgotten to write a disclaimer. Disclaimer: I own nothing but my story idea.  
By the way, thanks to all reviewers. I've never gotten such a good reply in the first day. Virtual cookies to you all!

* * *

_Okay, second-ish entry? Today Spikey went on deliveries, so He can't spy on my private writing.  
I've been thinking, Spikey was right about the diary thing, so I made it…  
A JOURNAL.  
So ha. It's official, ninjas write in journals.  
_

"You're dumb, Yuffie. It's the same thing."  
"I am NOT dumb, and look who's talk- HEY! DENZEL! GO AWAY!"  
"Make me."

_Stupid kid. He just sat down on the other end of the couch from me. He's looking at what I'm writing. Bastard, bastard, bastard! _

"Oh, Denzel, are you following Yuffie again? When are you gonna tell her that you like her already? She might not get annoyed as much, then, right?"  
"MARLEEEEEEEE-!"  
"What?!?"  
"It's true, right Denzel?"  
"Marlene! I _told_ you-" 

_OH MY GAWD. Denzel? Likes- Eww. Vincy might be a pedo, but not me. Jeez. Hold old is that kid, like, fourteen? _

"He's fifteen, Yuffie." 

_That kid smiles a lot. It's almost as if she knows she's causing all this.  
…I always knew there was something wrong with her. But you can't blame her. I mean, I'd probably be just as freaky if Barret and Tifa had raised ME. Oh, EW, scary thoughts.  
I'm starting to think I was lucky with Godo. _

"…" 

_You know, Denzel looks kind of sad. Maybe he does kind of like me.  
But what am I supposed to do?!? _

"Sorry, Denzel. I'm waaay too old for you, um, comprende?"  
"…Yeah."  
"Uhhhh…"  
"It's just…"  
"Uh, Denzel, could we just not talk-"  
"What's going on?" 

_Oh, great, Jiggles is here. _

"Jiggles?"  
"Uhhh…"  
"Hey, are you talking about Tifa?"  
"Yuffie, did you call me Jiggles?"  
"Uhhhh…" 

_Uh-oh, she's coming to check. I'm gonna close the book now, bye!  
_


	3. Vincent

Okay, so I escaped from Jiggles

_Okay, so I escaped from Jiggles. I am now in VINCENT'S ROOM! Yes, Vampy-kins. Mr. Sunshine. I picked his lock, as any self-respecting ninja would do. He's supposed to be out for the day, so by the time he's back, I'll be gone without a trace! Nyuk, nyuk, NYUK! Not one that he could see, anyways. He's kind of oblivious, natch? I mean, Tifa's practically all over him every single day and he doesn't know that she's madly in love with him yet. Jesus, how stupid can you get?_

"…Yuffie?"  
"OH CRAP AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

_OUCH. I fell off his bed. He has a really big bed, you know. King size and soft and whatnot. Heheheh, I guess it's better than that coffin. Or he could be planning to get jiggles in here and do nasty things to her BODY- OH EW THE IMAGES MY POOR VIRGIN EYES ARE DYING-_

"Yuffie."  
"WHY ARE YOU STILL- Oh, right, I'm in your room. Heheheh. Er, about that…"  
"Yes?"  
"I was trying to find a private place to write in my diary, and I thought you were out, so…"  
"So you invaded my privacy hoping to secure yours?"  
"Er. Well."  
"…Hmm."

_Vincent Valentine is the nicest man EVER and I will never steal his materia again. Signed, Yuffie._

He is actually pretty nice. He let me stay in his room after he made me right that. Now, I get to curl up in his big, comfy bed and write in private! Mmm, his covers smell nice. I think he gets special treatment from Jiggles. FAVORITISM. Jeez.  
But seriously? He's OH-BLEE-VEE-OOOUS.  
Jigs goes for oblivious guys, no? First chocobo-head, then Vinny-Winny. OMG! Winnie!  
VINCENT IS WINNIE THE POOH!! 


	4. Cait

I updated! (insert happy dance) I know, it took me a while. But I've been busy! I'm sorry! I know! I hate it when other people don't update, so I know how you feel. But I'm still doing exams and crap. I've also had a lot of personal stuff going on, seeing as I have a life now. :3  
But yeah. Also, if the formatting doesn't match, like I used to put something in italics and now it's different, forgive me. You see, the computer in my room is old and sometimes cruddy and doesn't read word documents, so when I copy/pasted my old chapters on to here to remind myself of what this story was like (it's been that long. I'm so ashamed!) and yeah... I had to open it with notepad, which kills formatting. So, sorry. That's my long apology.  
Also, I'd like to thank the people who reviewed (especially the person who just just just reviewed, sorry, I forget your name and I can't go look it up as I write this because my computer doesn't have internet I'm using the one in my room oh and please excuse my current lack of punctuation...sorry!). I really appreciate your comments, and I promise I'll try harder to update more frequently. However, as I've said multiple times, don't hold your breath, because I have a gazillion stories to update, facebook stuff to look at, emails, parties, a job (soon), a boyfriend (well, a date and hopefully more in the future) not to mention a severe case of LAS (lazy author syndrome) that, while being possible to fight, is pretty hard to get rid of.  
This is seriously the longest author's note ever. Anyhow, thank you, and pat yourselves on the back because you guys are the ones who made me get off my lazy ass and type up a storm. Also, in case I didn't include this beforehand: I own nothing except the storyline. Now, you may read. Sorry for the length!

_MWAHAHAHA! The ninja is back. Guess where I am?  
Go ahead. Take a wild guess. A wild, wild guess.  
I'M IN REEVE'S HOTEL ROOM!  
How sick is that, huh? It took me SO much effort to make it here! First off, I had to KO some random janitor guy with his own broom, which was harder than I thought it would be because he was friggin' huge and I'm pretty sure he knew kung-fu.  
Then, I had to run around, trying to find out which rooms were where. The locks weren't pickable; they were some kind of weird new thing. So I had to climb up three stories on the outside of the building without being seen, then wriggle through his window.  
It was awesome. I'm still totally hyper off the adrenaline! Nyuk nyuk nyuk!  
What was that, Diary? Why am I here? I thought you'd never ask!  
Well, Reeve stole my shruikan at work because I "wasn't being careful". Pshaw! I've had that thing since I was six! And I've only hit someone accidentally once! And that was when I was- oh, right. Last week.  
Well, once in ten years isn't so so bad, is it? Right?  
Anyways, I'm kinda wondering where he put it._

"Check the closet, Lassie."  
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"  
"What?"  
"Cait, you nearly gave me a heart attack!"  
"Heh heh heh."  
"You evil little titch-"  
"Ah, ah, ah! I know where your shruikan is!"  
"Oh, f-"

**LATER**

_Stupid little-  
_"Ah-"  
_I'M NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO WRITE IN MY OWN PRIVATE DIARY NOW?  
_"Nope."  
_B-tard. _  
"Just do it."  
_But I don't WANT to, this is soooo embarrassing! Please, Cait-y? I swear I'll be nice to you for ever and ever!  
_"Do it."  
_"The robot's eyes gleamed with fiendish glee, glittering red." I read that somewhere. Reminds me of someone. But fine. I will do it.  
_Beep. Beep. Beep.  
"Hello?"  
"CLOOOOOOOUDY, VAT VOUD YOOOOOU DOOOOU FOORRRRR A KLONDIIIIKE BARRRRR?"  
"Yuffie?"  
"FU-"  
Beeeeeeeeeeeeep.

**LATER**

_That was diabolical. Stupid Cait. At least I got my shruiken back.  
Wait. Why am I so embarrassed? It's just Spike, for Shiva's sake. I've MOONED him before. This is nothing! Anyway, why do I care what he thinks? It's not like I LIKE him or anything. Ninjas don't get crushes._

"Oh, they don't, do they?"

_NOOOOOOOOO! I have been discovered by the Jiggles! She will know I'm using her present!_

"Yuffie, you're calling me Jiggles, aren't you? I knew it!"

_My life is RUINED!_

"Oh, stop being so dramatic. It's nice that you have an outlet, Yuffie."  
"An outlet?"  
"Yes, for your thoughts."  
"Huh."

_Well, this isn't a diary. I hope you know that, Jiggles. It's a JOURNAL._

"They're the same thing, dear."  
"ARE NOT!"  
"Whatever, Yuffie. Now, I want to know. Do you like Cloud?"  
"Hell-oooo! I just wrote that I didn't!"  
"You tend to deny things in your head, Yuffie."

"WHAT?! Do not! Are you calling me a liar?"  
"No, I'm just saying that you always try to fool yourself."  
"Do not!"

_Well, she's gone. And I do NOT try to fool myself! I just- I dunno. but I'm not deluding myself! I don't have a crush on Cloud!  
No, a crush would mean blushing when I see him and fluttering my eyelashes and dressing like a ho and giggling at everything he says and letting him win all our fights and being all goofy around him and changing myself to be the girl he wants.  
I don't do that!  
He's Cloud. If I want him to like me at all, I want him to respect me and like me for who I am. Not who I think he'd like. I don't swoon over him. I think he's hot, sure. But I don't try to prove that I'm worthy of him. That would be stupid- I wouldn't be trying to prove it to anyone but myself. Lovers are equals. That's what my mom told me.  
You know, Mom was the smartest, awesomest person I knew. I still think about her a lot.  
Anyways, me and Cloud could not be FURTHER (farther? Further? Which do you use when?) from equal.  
Really.  
Okay, so maybe my mom meant you act like equals. But anyways, I can't have a crush on Cloud. That's the one rule I can't break. If I want to lead my country, I have to stick with my own people. It's the only thing my Dad wouldn't let happen.  
I know what you're thinking, Diary. don't I break all the rules? Why am I being so obedient with this one?  
Because of my mom.  
She didn't love Godo. But she married him anyways.  
If she can do it, so can I. That's why I can't be in love with Cloud. It would hurt to much.  
I don't like talking about this. So, bye, Diary. Just for now._

-Yuffie  
__


	5. Cloud again

Yay! Two chappies at once! I know, you love me. xP Actually, I was just really feeling it today. Enjoy!

_--------------------_

_Shiva, that last entry was EMO! Oh well. I'll make up for it.  
You know, I hate emo stuff. Life should be enjoyed. Not endured. Right? And all that stuff is just depressing. Like, right now, I'm listening to emo music and it's just horrible. It's all whiney. And, frankly, it's a bit creepy.  
Kind of like Vincent. Heh heh. Except the singer is female and talking about how she feels all empty inside. I hate that! Everyone feels empty sometimes. It goes away! It's called moving on! HELLO!  
I mean, would you rather mope around like Eeyore all the time, or be happy like Pooh?  
Oh, YES. Dance music.  
Did I mention I'm a dancing junkie? I'm so glad I'm in Cloud's room right now. He has the sickest radio.  
Your love is like poison, poison, gotta get you outta my system... I love it! It's a bit emoish, but it's dancey. So it's all good. I think I'm gonna go dance. I'll see ya._

_--------------------_

**Dear Yuffie,  
This is Cloud. I don't know why your diary was in my room, but here it is.  
Also, I noticed the radio was on. Thanks for switching the channel back.**

PS- I might have read some of your diary by accident.

_----------------_

Dear Cloud,

Thanks. I forgot my diary in your room. And I didn't change the channel, actually.  
They had dance music playing so I kind of forgot. I guess we just like the same music.  
I don't care if you read some of my diary, actually. I don't have any secrets in there. Yet. But keep your paws off, Chocoboy. I might add some TOP-SECRET info in there soon.  
Thanks again for returning the diary,  
Yuffie  
PS- What station was your radio at, anyways?

_---------------_

**Dear Yuffie,**

It was on Virgin Radio. That's about 95. something FM.  
If you like that music, then I could lend you some CDs. Just don't break them.  
As for your diary, don't leave it in my room if you don't want me to read it.  
I wanted to talk to you about something at dinner, but I didn't see you there. I'm going on a longer delivery to Wutai in two days (I'll leave on Saturday) and it's going to get a little dangerous the way I'm going. Tifa wants me to take someone with me, just in case. Since she has to run the bar, would you mind coming with me? I don't need an answer until tomorrow night, so just think about it.  
Thanks,  
Cloud  
PS- If you're coming, pack enough stuff for about three days, a motorcycle helmet, and keep your cell phone and materia on you. I'm taking care of the tent (only one, but if you mind sharing I'll try to get the other one back from Cid).

_-------------------_

Dear Cloud,

Well, it's not like I'm busy.

Thanks for the radio info,  
Yuffie (who is packing as she writes)

PS- I don't care about sharing a tent.

_------------------_

_OH. EM. GEE.  
MOTORCYCLE CAMPING TRIP TOMORROW!  
I'm going to Wutai with Cloud! I sooooooooooo can't wait!  
There's just one thing.  
What if I start liking him? I mean, we'll be sharing a tent and stuff, and I'll be around him for three days, without anyone else around. But you know, I can survive a crush. I guess it's okay. I mean, I'll try to be just friends and stuff.  
Anyways, I gotta pack you too, so goodbye for now, Diary._

-Yuffster.

_-----------------_

1st day of travels

_---------------_

_Well, this is so cool. Writing is hard, because I'm hanging onto Cloud for dear life with one hand and the motorcycle is moving. Really hard. In fact, I feel like I might fall o_

_----------------_

_I. AM. NEVER. WRITING. AND. RIDING. EVER. AGAIN.  
I fell off.  
Cloud stopped like, right away, and then went to see if I was okay. I'm fine, surprisingly. I just have a few scrapes. Then he started laughing at me. It was pretty humiliating.  
Then again, I did kind of deserve it.  
Augh. Why does this crap always happen to ME?! This never happens to Jiggles or Vincent or Cloud!  
_  
"Actually, I've fallen off my motorcycle before."

_Why are you still reading over my shoulder!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!_

"Because you're funny. Why are you using so many exclamation and question marks?"

_BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE IT! I'm not that funny._

"Also, you're writing instead of talking to me right now, so to continue the convo I have to read your diary."

_Have you been eating a lot of brain vitamins lately or something? CHOCOBOY, ARE YOU ON BRAIN STEROIDS?!_

"No. Drugs are stupid. And I don't like needles."

_Ha, really? You've been stabbed by Sephiroth, you've technically died at least twice, and you're scared of needles?_

"I just don't like needles."

_Is that 'cause of experiments and mako shizz?_

"Probably."

_Oh, well then you have an excuse. I don't think you're a wuss anymore._

"...Thanks?"

_You know, I think I'll just talk to you now._

"Way to start doing it."

_-------------------------_

_  
_


End file.
